Reality vs Expectations

“Finally getting back into the swim of things”....JK, no I’m not! In fact, I don’t know that I’ve even had my head above water since 2015 when they said, “congratulations, you’re a Mom!” 

I saw someone post that caption followed by some nonsense about being stress free because of their time management, meal prepping, & being all organized & on top of things.🙄 I rolled my eyes...maybe cause I’m jealous there might actually be people out there who don’t have to just wing it everyday, or maybe because I think it’s a crock...

That right folks, I’m throwing the bs flag on anyone having it all together or being so on top of it that nothing surprises them or dare I say..causes stress. Life is unpredictable, no matter how color coordinated your laminated chart is.

Ya know how I know? Because I’ve made the dang chart! I’ve pre-planned the activities, prepped the meals, & even used the notes section in the calendar. & ya know what, it still fell apart! & I was the one who came off the hinges when it happened, because I planned, prepped & tried gosh darn it! And I was left more defeated than ever. Something always happened, & for me, expectation really is the root of all heartache. 

The baby would decide to scream bloody murder the 30 mins you set aside to craft with the toddler, ruining the experience for everyone. Or the toddler decides the water you have them is gross & attempts to get their own juice in the 15 mins you blocked out for work emails, literally the only 15 minutes you gave yourself, since they have your full attention every other waking moment! 

How “fitting” for me & my little! Check out all the adorable tee’s (Mom, kid, & family) in my friends custom shop, Luv, Lyv, & Les here

Suddenly your mopping the floor when you’re supposed to be grocery shopping, the toddler has abandoned the worksheet you assigned to create a new mess & wonder off too close to the baby’s room, sending the whole schedule to hell when he wakes up too early & starts screaming. Ear piercing cries, interrupted by the toddler checking in to request a new cup & snack before you make it off your knees, adding to the headache you’ve had since, that’s right, 2015. 

I just can’t live in a world where one cup of orange juice can derail an entire day, so I don’t try anymore. Scratch that, I do try it a few times a year, but am always reminded that perfection doesn’t exist. There’s no controlling it or any magic plan for life. Motherhood is hard. Whether you work or stay home with your kids, it’s freaking hard, & someone always looks like they’re doing it better than us. But I’m not buying what they’re selling. I’ve tried it their way, & somehow still end up slinking to bed with the weight of all my mom fails for the day. 

So let’s shake that sh** off, & choose to celebrate our wins today, no matter how small!Yes, my kids probably watched too much tv today, I may have been too tired to serve anything up for dinner other than uncrustables straight out of the freezer, & they may have gone to bed without baths. But I did read them 4 books today. I chased them with the hose, watched their dance routine six times before picking up my phone, & said their prayers & kissed them goodnight. All in all, that just has to be good enough for me today. 

So maybe you “planners” really are stress free, maybe it really does work for you, but I’m just gonna keep believin it’s a facade, so I can keep the joy in & self doubt out. 

I’m learning to embrace the chaos & shift my mindset to show myself & my family grace. I’ve found I’m a lot happier when I don’t compare my sanity level to other moms, & I don’t have too many expectations 😂 Sounds kinda sad when I read it out loud haha, but this is what motherhood looks like for me, & I’m trying to not only be okay with that, but appreciate it too. 

Our playdates are powered by Scout & Cellar clean crafted wine, because we’re too hold for hangover & our metabolism’s too slow for double the calories & carbs in regular wine (get it here).

In our house, it’s laundry or a nice dinner...you’re not getting both in the same day. It’s clean bathrooms or memories made at the beach. I’m gonna drop a couple balls each day, I’m probably gonna drink too much wine, & miss a doctor appointment (like I did today 😬), bc my kid had my phone when my reminder went off, & I’ll probably be late for everything I do remember, & have a messy car for the rest of my life, or at least until they get their own cars to trash. But I’m totally okay with that, so keep your fancy charts, sparkly gel pens, & well meaning, but unrealistic advice for yourself, because maybe it works for you, but it doesn’t for me. Maybe I’ll never master synchronized swimming on my motherhood journey, but I’ve always enjoyed playing in the waves anyway 🌊